You Have To Be The Creator Of Your Own Kingdom
114: Your life, your rules, your kingdom...
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Welcome reader! Would you create your own kingdom if you knew it was possible? How does one even define one's own kingdom? What does it take to build one? You need to take control of your kingdom… Better said, your life.
What we will cover in this 20 minute complex read:
Your Kingdom, ideology, and responsibility (Discovery Phase)
Inner vs. outer game (+ question you should be asking yourself daily)
The core principles of your kingdom
Creating your kingdom and curating your reality
Your Kingdom, Ideology, And Responsibility (Discovery Phase)
Suggestion from one of our Twitter friends. You won’t regret listening to this while reading the rest of the post.
Your kingdom: Your life setup is part of your kingdom. Your office is part of your kingdom. Your living room is part of your kingdom. The clothes you wear? Part of your kingdom. The mobile phone you are reading this from? Part of your kingdom as well. Everything present in your life belongs to your kingdom. Kingdom is your life is another way to look at it. Better the reality you are living in. Not just the reality you are living in. But the lifestyle you are living in. It is hard for us not to go full Schopenhauer here (for those who have read his work). Your life is a reflection of your kingdom. Things get interesting when you realize you have complete control over your kingdom. You are the king. Not only do you have control over it. It is necessary that you learn how to control it in the best way possible. From your thoughts, you think about the things you surround yourself with. Remind yourself that everything in your kingdom is there because you have a certain value attached to it. You shape it. You control it. You own it.
Your ideology: A big part of building your kingdom comes down to knowing who you are. This is where you need to start asking yourself the questions you often avoid. Who are you? Are you someone you want to be, or someone shaped by those around you? Have you ever asked yourself, are you doing something, buying things, or participating in events, because you genuinely want to, or because others told you it was the right thing to do? Everyone reading this should ask themselves the same question. Often. Daily. More so if you are younger than 30 and still have more than enough time to make drastic life changes to position yourself accordingly. Are you doing the things you want to do with your life or because others around you told you it was the right thing to do? What about your belief system? Is it really yours, or are you letting others implement their ideas that seemed right at the time, but are not necessarily the truth? Start asking yourself these questions. There's a good chance that you will come up with insights you never considered before. We would go so far as to say that they might change your life. As you get older, you realize that how you view the world and what ideas you hold (core principles) play a big role in whether you will be able to achieve something or not. Ideology comes down to knowing how you should function and what ideas you will hold to.
Your responsibility: Without knowing that you are 100% responsible for your kingdom, none of this matters. The reason this is important is that no one else is in this but you. No one to blame. No one to rely on. You create your rules. You create your environment. You choose what you want or don’t want to include in your kingdom. After reading this, we hope you become even more picky about what you allow and do not allow to be present in your kingdom. That is why it is important that you take this seriously and understand that you are the only one to blame. Don’t like something? Who is stopping you from making a change? Money? Well, who is stopping you from making more of it? Don’t have time? Who is stopping you from optimizing your energy and learning to get more out of your day? Building your kingdom and shaping your reality comes down to you…
The world is my representation. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Invaders: Sooner or later, your kingdom will be invaded. Rome was invaded. Egypt was invaded. Even Gondor was invaded, and that was the movie… You get the point. Sooner or later, each kingdom gets invaded. It has happened many times throughout history, and since you are reading this, you already know that history repeats itself and human nature never changes. What do we mean by this? Your principles, ideology, and responsibility are challenged by invaders - the invaders in our case are the world around you. The noise, false promises, wrong ideals, cheap morals, and shortcuts all compete for YOUR attention. The piece of your mental estate and a place in your kingdom. What do invaders do? They exploit your insecurities and target the areas you feel you lack. Breaking into your kingdom and having a straight-up negative influence. Promising you things that you have always wanted. But it will only come up if you do _____. They try to tell you who you should be and what you should do. The job of invaders is to make you feel bad about yourself, your situation, and what you have going on. It is a systematic approach to lowering your confidence and taking advantage of you. Similar to what many info sellers are doing. What is there left to do? The game won’t change. Invaders won’t stop. You can’t quit on your kingdom either… Meaning? You have to create something that won’t break easily and can stand the test of time.
Inner vs. Outer Game
To make the whole topic more practical.
Internal kingdom (mind, your gut feeling, moral compass, principles…):
Thoughts
Mind
Confidence
Your luck level
Fulfillment and your feelings about things
Vision
Goals
Motives
External kingdom (everything outside your own mind that you possess and expose yourself to…):
Your clothes
The people you surround yourself with
Stuff you own
The car you drive
Music you listen to
Hobbies you participate in
Books you read
Office space where you work
Inner vs outer kingdom: Most people around you will say that you can influence one and can’t influence the other. That is not correct. You can influence both aspects. Your perception and constant mental shaping shape your internal kingdom, while the external kingdom depends on the choices you make and what you allow into your life. This is where the importance of filtering and consuming less comes into play. Everything within your kingdom (life) influences you, and what you allow to enter and occupy your mind becomes part of it. You decide what to accept for yourself or not. As long as you allow it in, it becomes part of your kingdom. You can’t escape it. In the same way your parents, the house you grew up in, and the friends you had in childhood shaped you. One way or another, there was an influence that you never thought about. Now might be the perfect time. It is impossible to escape those influences since they were part of your kingdom and reality - they still are to some extent.
What can you do?
As with everything else, the first step is to become aware. Start observing. Challenge yourself, why do I possess certain thoughts, or what is it all because someone else implanted them into my subconscious? Not to sound like a blackpill. The reality is that everything you are trying to influence influences you. Keep that in mind. Even this post is trying to influence you in a way that makes you think about the things you have been taught over the years.
Since we know that the kingdom is built on both internal and external components. Internal being refers to how you perceive yourself and what your thoughts are. While the external is about what you allow others around you to dictate and what you permit to enter in the first place. How can you make this more applicable to yourself? The internal component of your kingdom is much harder to change. It goes deep, back to your childhood, traumas, and life experiences. We wish we could tell you one simple way to do it, but that would be a straight-up lie. The mindset rewiring workbook and mental models collection are both worth diving deeper into as they will help you stop having negative associations (limiting beliefs) with yourself and who you are. Making them a good place to start.
The external component of your kingdom is much easier to change. Because you have a visible influence over it. Not necessarily visible, but you have more control over it and how you approach it. It comes down to not falling into what the masses around you think is the right thing and not playing the games that are based on impressing others - such as buying things for external validation. That is the big piece of the puzzle. The other part of the story is realizing that all the things you allow to enter your life and want to have in your kingdom are entirely up to you. This requires you to have a vision you can follow and base your filters on. Total ownership. What does this require? Clear vision of what your kingdom represents. Leaving this for the last chapter, where we will dive deeper into how to create it and curate it. What can you do before even starting to come up with your vision? Start asking yourself the questions that will help you find the right angle when it comes to the external component. Not sure where to start? This is the question you should reference and get back to daily:
Am I doing this because I want to, or because others told me it was the right thing to do?
The core Principles of Your Kingdom
There are multiple reasons why you might want to be a ruler of your own kingdom. Total ownership being in control of everything you want. Knowing the role of each item you possess and allow into your life. Not being easily manipulated by the masses or put on the wrong path. There are many reasons, and everyone reading this will come up with their own version of why they are creating their kingdom. This is the best way to put it. To make this more fun. We have decided to split it into three categories that everyone should consider when building their vision and setting their rules. In the words of Guy Ritchie.
Level 1 - Your vision (External kingdom): The reason you must put effort into creating your kingdom is that by the end of the day, you will know exactly who you are. What you stand for, what gets you going, and what you want to avoid at all costs. It is your kingdom, be proud of it. These are the fundamentals, and without them, nothing else makes sense. Better said, it is a complete waste of time. Your vision of your kingdom should serve as a reference point. A guide of sorts that tells you whether what you are doing fits in or not with your big vision and principles. The key to a successful kingdom and full ownership of your life is knowing what you want in the first place. You need to have a vision for yourself because without it, you will be loosely shooting without heading anywhere. The answers you need to move on to the next step of building your kingdom:
Who are you trying to become?
What kind of people do you want to be surrounded by?
What things do you want to have in your life?
Where do you want to live?
What do you want to do in your free time?
Suggested reading on this topic:
Level 2 - Knowing who you are (Internal Kingdom): Once you have a solid foundation, you develop a grand vision of what your kingdom should look like. Falling for the tricks of those around you because you are operating from an abundance mindset, where nothing matters, which doesn’t fit with your vision. You see things for what they are - this is where those who do sales and marketing have an advantage, as they can more easily recognize manipulation patterns. Remember the invasions from earlier? This is where this gets beneficial. Knowing who you are has never been more important, as most people around you have completely offloaded their identities to mobile phones and social media. Those whom others can’t influence are running laps around those who are easily manipulated. Being confident enough in your vision and belief that what you are doing is the right course is crucial. Not just the right thing, but it should be one of your goals. The internal aspect of your kingdom and knowing who you are is much harder in comparison to the previous step, which focused on external components. Everyone knows what kind of hobbies they want to participate in. Rarely does anyone know what it takes to find internal peace or reprogram negative beliefs. Level 2 of building out your kingdom should be heavily based on self-reflection and asking yourself questions you don’t do often enough. Do you know who you are? What do the people around you say you are? Does that fit with the life you want to live and the vision you have? Who are you as a person? Are you doing the things you should be doing? The answers (feelings) you need to move to the next component of building out your kingdom:
What are my morals?
Who do I want to become?
What drives me and gives me that sense of fulfillment?
Do I have any negative associations with myself?
How would I like others to describe me?
Suggested reading on this topic:
As with everything in life, if you want to take it to the next level... Take a pen and paper and write everything down. Want to take it further? Create a whiteboard with your vision. The reason this is beneficial is that it sparks your creativity and puts you in a creative mood, which is essential when building a plan that involves visually demanding work (building out the external part).
Level 3 - Putting it all into reality: Once you have a clear vision and have taken care of the previous two levels. It is time to bring everything together. Where do you start with curating your reality and building your kingdom? We suggest that by focusing heavily on the external part you came up with, as you will be able to make progress much faster. Just by filtering what you let into your kingdom (life), you are already on the right path. The whole idea around the level 3 is that it is all about picking the lowest-hanging fruit and executing relentlessly. Do you have a vision for what your office should look like? What is stopping you from doing the lowest effort possible and changing something for the better? That is how you should be thinking about it. The same applies to any other area of your life. The whole idea around level 3:
Come up with the vision and idea for your kingdom → ask yourself what is the least effort activity/item/thing/situation you could implement right now that would push this forward (momentum) → DO IT.
This won’t work: The key to pulling this off is paying attention to the details. Not just any details, but the point that you want to know the specific brand of pen for the specific paper you will use, as you build out your office. That is how you build your kingdom. Details and specifics. The same goes for your interactions and other internal work. Let's say you know you will have a 1on1 with your boss or business partner? What will the person you want to be say to the other side? Those details might seem ridiculous at first. But as you start taking a bigger chunk of townership of your life and kingdom. They become increasingly important. Not only is it important, but you will also gain a massive amount of satisfaction from sticking to your original idea and seeing it become a reality.
Creating Your Own Kingdom And Curating Your Reality
Worth mentioning: To get the maximum out of this, you have to operate outside of survival mode. What do we mean by that? You need to be in a position where you can afford to spend your hard-earned money. Not in a situation where you have to count every dollar and worry about paying bills. For those who are still in this phase, your focus should be on putting in maximum effort to start your business and create additional income streams. The life you want to live only becomes obvious once you are out of that phase and have enough mental space to think about nice to have things, as opposed to must have items. If you are there, does that mean all of this is useless? Not really. It just means that you will spend more time in level 2 (internal work), opposite to level 1 (external work) - this is something you can influence regardless of your financial situation.
Time to put everything together.
Curating your external kingdom
Connection between your idea and reality: By this point, you should understand that your kingdom means absolutely everything in your life. From your apartment to the smallest detail in your room. We have mentioned that one way to attack this is to pick the lowest-hanging fruit. Another approach is to consistently focus on the most important areas of your life. Let’s say you have decided, since you are working a W2 from home and starting your business in your free time, that you need to upgrade your home office. After seeing things, picking up details, and visualizing everything. You have decided there are a few things that need attention. Your room looks like that of a teenager, while you want to turn it into something more mature and professional. Why? Because you are taking multiple calls daily and are tired of people asking you what you have in the background.
The common advice you hear is to start with the big purchase (think desk, monitor, chair). There is nothing wrong with that if you will still be able to have the same momentum after getting one of those. What we would do instead is start with the "small stuff". Something that feels meaningless at first. But that creates a strong bond between your vision and reality. Ask yourself: what do I want to have in the background so others can see part of my kingdom? What leaves an impression on me or makes me think? Do I have something else I am proud of and want to share with the world? We do hope that most of our readers will say art, or at least something that inspires them or makes them think. But leaving that for you to decide. The main point you want to keep in mind is that you want something that provokes your mind, ideas, and reality, and brings that vision of your kingdom.
Every time you see it, it sparks your grand idea. Serving as a reminder of why you are doing what you do and what it is all about. The final piece of the puzzle? Execution. You know what you want? Did some research around it, and it fits your vision of the kingdom? You know what is left to do… Buy it. The only thing you should pay attention to? Don’t let yourself fall into an impulse-buying trap. Everything you choose to add to your space must be intentional and have a deeper meaning behind it. That is the way you build something long-term that you won't get tired of in a month or two. To avoid making this part unnecessarily long and off-topic. Our advice on how to approach building out your external kingdom:
Take your time and develop the vision for your kingdom.
Focus on the things that have a big impact on your life. Our example? Office space. Why? Because there's a good chance that if you are someone working a W2 from home and trying to build a business on the side, you are spending up to 10-12 hours a day in that room. Other ideas? Place, items, space, clothes… Everything you can impact.
Start with details that may seem meaningless at first, but they create the big picture. From the pen you write with to the paper you use, and all the way to the plants and art. Remember, it is your kingdom.
Execute.
Curating your internal kingdom
Most of the main principles from the external part of building your kingdom are the same. What is different? That not only will you have to visualize your outcome and interactions with others + do deep reflection. But you will also need to come up with a set of principles to reference each time you catch yourself either a) doing good or b) slipping off. Let's say you have always had a vision of yourself as someone ready to help those in need. You find yourself in a situation where you fail to help when it was obvious you could. The goal is not to be hard on yourself. But instead of thinking about what went wrong and why you didn’t follow along. It doesn't matter that it didn’t happen - the idea is not to build a negative pattern. What matters, why it didn’t happen, and what put you out of your vision (kingdom). This applies to both positive and negative scenarios. What you will realize is that you will start building patterns that will challenge you each time you don’t follow your vision.
While we are on the topic… All the interactions you have, life challenges, unfavorable situations, doubts, negative beliefs, or anything related to the internal work. They could all be challenged based on the idea presented here. Reflecting and asking yourself: how is what I am doing pushing me towards my kingdom? Again. Total ownership. Thoughts, feelings, interactions. There is no one else to blame if things go south except yourself. The more time you spend thinking about and reflecting, the easier it will be. Our advice is to start by paying attention to social interactions. They are by far the easiest way to gain clarity on your vision, as you already know that you have a certain goal behind them. Meaning that they have certain weight behind them. One step above is paying attention to your emotions and how those actions make you feel afterwards. Both are important and play a big role. The final step is to reflect on your inner state and your thoughts. What do you want for yourself, and who do you aim to become? Think of it this way: all your daily actions should serve as a support system for your internal ideas and beliefs. Want to work on your abundance? Practice not being influenced by others or experiencing FOMO. Don’t want to show you are nervous in front of your colleagues when presenting? Start building things up (business, income streams) in your free time so you stop caring about your performance (abundance). Our advice for how to approach building your internal kingdom.
Take your time and develop the vision for your kingdom.
The easiest way to practice internal work? Social interactions. Start there.
In case you don’t follow through or fail to act in accordance with your vision. Don’t be hard on yourself. Look for the patterns and identify why you didn’t pull it off. The goal is to eliminate those patterns (that is the key).
Execute based on beliefs.
Conclusion: This is a hard write-up because there is so much you can do to make it as practical as possible. It is heavily subjective, and everyone will have a different vision of what their kingdom represents. How it looks and what is built on it. Some want to live in a penthouse in Manhattan, while someone else reading this wants to own a cabin somewhere in the mountains. Our final advice? Building your kingdom is not an easy job. It is the process that could take months, if not years. It requires a deep understanding of all the details, from the big picture down to the smallest aspects, and how to position yourself accordingly. The best advice on how to avoid burning out while creating your kingdom? Be aware. Pay attention. Build slowly and challenge yourself regularly. What seems brilliant at first could end up being the dumbest thing you have done (especially when it comes to big life choices). Can you fail to build your kingdom? It is impossible if you follow the plan and don’t give up. Visualize each step in detail → put it into the context of your kingdom → start with the low hanging fruit (to build positive momentum) → Execute. All of us are just a few right moves (and a bit of luck) away from our own kingdom. The hardest part is sticking with it. Good luck.
Disclaimer: None of this is to be legal or financial advice of any kind.
Arguably your best post to date. Definitely the post everyone should read to get clarity of their life situation. Thank you
I have so much clarity after reading this. Thank you.