78 (Unwritten) Rules Of Life
133: No one taught you this... Now someone is.
Before we continue. Some of you have been DMing about the mindset workbook and not wanting to give your data to Substack or take on another subscription. The Gumroad version is back up. Grab it here. Thanks to everyone who reached out.
Welcome reader! How many times have you found yourself going through something you can’t explain? We all have. The difference is that no one told you there were unwritten rules to life... Until now.
No One Ever Taught You This… Until Now
Additional reading on rules and how life works:
The more you complain about the meaningless stuff that is fully in your control. The harder your life will be. The less energy you will have. Outcome of that? The unhappier you will be.
You only begin to see the beauty of life and what it offers once you stop worrying about the things everyone else around you worries about. Bills, mortgages, paying the rent, or putting food on the table.
Everything you give without expecting anything back in return will 10x in your favor, every single time. This applies to everything. One of the most obvious unwritten rules of life once you start paying attention to it.
Confidence and the ability to project it (sell yourself) will take you further than intelligence ever will.
Never feel jealous when someone close to you wins. It will block your progress and keep you stuck. It is not just an unwritten rule of life. But it is also one of those lifestyle traps that no one pays enough attention to.
The moment you start taking things that you once dreamed about for granted is the moment you have lost. That is when the universe will find a way to put you back in your place. Which brings us to the next point…
The universe will always find a way to test you. Your patience, and whatever you are worth or not. Always giving you a complex challenge (test, decision, or a choice) right before your next big win.
To live a happy life, avoid unhappy people. It is one of those easier said than done.
If you are not into mindset work and don't believe in woo-woo stuff. Just keep one thing in mind. Rather than focusing on what you don’t want in your life… Focus on what you do want.
Whether you want to accept it or not. Your parents and the environment you grew up in had a huge impact on you. The limitations you feel about yourself? They have been there since early life, and there is a good chance you can figure out why they are there in the first place. Better said… They are self-imposed. Only those who become aware of this realize they can literally do anything.
The moment you accept that you are a victim (or position yourself in that way) is the moment you have lost the precious game you are playing. One called life.
Picking books at random and striking up conversations with strangers, without expecting anything from them, will always reward you with a perspective or insight you never knew you needed (or thought about).
The money you make doing things you are not 100% aligned with. Or feel in your gut, it is not the right thing (carries a certain weight and feeling behind it). It is simply not worth it. Everyone who has done it knows it will bring you more bad than good.
One of your goals in life should always be to produce more than you consume. It is hard to say exactly why. But there is a good chance you will be rewarded beyond your capacity to understand why in the end.
Your mind creates reality. Pay attention to what you allow to enter your life and what you don’t.
Always be kind to waiters, cleaning staff, and receptionists. Most people underestimate how much power these people have to mess up your life. From not getting the job you want to eating something you should not.
The secret to winning the long game comes down to optimizing for optimism and enthusiasm. One of your goals should be to make choices throughout the day that keep you energetic and full of childlike curiosity. To a point where it is hard for you to fall asleep at night. Because deep down, you will feel that you are missing out on some new information.
There is a clear rule. Whatever people feel the need to say out loud about themselves (or make claims)… This usually means the opposite is true. Have you ever heard a genuinely good person say out loud I am a good person? Or a hard worker saying that they are a hard worker? Pay attention.
Whenever you cancel or can't follow through on plans with someone. Rescheduling and ensuring it happens are your obligation. Making this a habit is a must.
Whether we want to accept it or have a hard time seeing it. There is an abundance of success (+ opportunities) for those who want to see it. Meaning that you can stop worrying about what others are doing because their success has nothing to do with yours.
The thoughts you carry throughout the day shape the reality you live in. You will never believe this until you catch yourself becoming part of your own scenario. Thinking about the things that end up happening, and you magically find yourself in those. When you think about it, it happens more often than we would love to admit.
You are the same person as the one you spend most of your time with.
The halo effect is real. Something we have written about before, and something you should be fully aware of. A good haircut and hitting the gym regularly are all you need to be in the top 20%.
It takes your employer less than 2 weeks to replace you. You are on a mission there, and not to give your life away to make someone else rich. The story is different when you are working for yourself and building YOUR future.
Every 3 to 6 months have a 1on1 conversation with yourself and see where things are going. Being 100% transparent and honest. Going over the most important aspects of your life, from relationships, money making, to your love life. The reason this is one of the unwritten rules is that it will provide you with active clarity on where things are going. Yet no one ever taught you this.
The reality is that it is impossible to lose. All the games you are playing in your life. You can win. But you will have to show up early. Work harder than anyone else. Might get obsessed with it. And might let go of a relationship or two. But you will win in the end.
When you cheap out on things you should not. You end up paying double. Buy proper shoes and compare them with the cheap ones. It becomes very clear why one costs twice as much and lasts 3-4x the others.
If you have access to the internet, you have no excuse not to make money from it.
Under no circumstances should you use speakerphone or play music out loud in public. One of the best headphones ever made costs only $20.
Nobody cares about you. The only people who care about you are your family and close friends.
Never sleep with someone you would not be comfortable telling others about. This will save you a lot of pain in life and ensure you do not destroy your reputation.
The secret to winning more often usually comes down to reducing its importance. Less importance = less resistance. This applies to everything.
The reason schools have such strict rules is that they act as incubators for what comes after them. Working for someone else in the corporate world is no different than going to school.
Long walks without your phone (+ no notifications) are going to be one of the most productive parts of your day. There is a good chance all your big breakthroughs will come from them.
Whatever you write down on paper has a 10x greater chance of becoming reality.
The cheaper and more frugal you are with your money, the less you will have of it. That is why those who are the first to split the check are often the most miserable ones. If you don't believe us pay attention… It will just click.
There is nothing more valuable in life than being able to do what you want, when you want to do it, and how you want. The most valuable thing in life is freedom. The second on the list? Total ownership of your time.
Never say things you don't mean out loud. Not even as a joke. There is a good chance they will become part of your reality. And not necessarily in a good way.
What no one tells you is that at some point. Once you have been doing something for a long period of time. You have to stop following the same pattern and ask yourself - what would be an easier way to do this? You will be surprised how far that gets you. After one point it is easy to fall for the trap of operating from habit and not efficiency.
Your gut and first impressions are right in most cases. When you meet someone and your gut goes off. That is your warning system signaling you.
Daily reminder that life is not fair.
The day you stop asking for the big things from the people around you is the day you have lost the game. The only way to get further in life is to ask for more and know (believe deep down) that you are worth it.
The speed of actions matters much more than preparation. The bolder you allow yourself to be, the higher the chances that you will end up with a positive outcome.
You should always break the rules to get what you want. At the same time, you should never break the law to achieve the same. Only a few will understand.
Under no circumstances should you apologize for the small stuff. Forget about it. People will start to take advantage of you once they figure it out.
The longer a product's expiration date is. The worse it is for your health. The shorter it is, the higher the chances it will be good for you.
When you are unsure whether someone is genuine or just using you to get what they want. What you should do is ask yourself whether they would do the same if the tables were turned. This will give you all the answers
Before every major life-changing win that shifts the trajectory of your life, there is going to be a slow period of confusion mixed with multiple losses in a row. It is one of those rules of life you can’t go against.
Making long-term plans (10 years or more) is a waste of time. You need a grand vision to follow. No doubt. At the same time, you have to be 100% aware that planning things in 5 year blocks is a much better option. We live in the new world, and things are changing rapidly.
Meeting someone in their 30s with strong opinions usually means they will never change them. Persuasion is mostly a waste of time and an unnecessary way to create enemies.
The more you compare yourself with others, the more you will feel this sense of worthlessness and pressure. There is not a single area of your life that will improve by doing this.
Your mind and body believe every story you tell yourself. This is why you should avoid saying negative things about yourself out loud. Even the smallest stuff. Next time, pay attention when you are complaining about how tired you are or not feeling it. That might be why you feel the way you do.
Relationships are largely all about transactions. One side always needs the other, and when the cost exceeds the benefits, it usually ends. This also serves as a cold reminder that the person who needs the other less holds all the power.
Most of normal life is a trap. Mortgage is a trap. Retirement is a trap. Climbing the career ladder is a trap. Spending hours on social media every day is a trap. Pay attention to everything you are told. It is in someone's best interest, not necessarily yours.
Salary makes you comfortable. Tranquil. Slow. Predictable. Dependent. It is a poison and the cure at the same time. Depending on who is using it and how.
You can tell everything about someone from how they approach small and worthless tasks. The same goes for the way they treat people who can’t do anything for them.
What no one tells you is that the faster you check your phone after waking up, the more it directly impacts your concentration and creativity for the rest of the day.
One way you can get rid of depression or feeling down is by removing the blockade that makes it hard for you to express your emotions. Saying what you want to say, doing what you want to do, and being who you really want to be. Once you open those forms of expression, things will start working out in your favor. You will also feel noticeably more relaxed and sharper.
People remember how you make them feel, not what you have said. Meaning? The stronger persuasion tool is not manipulation. It is making people feel good and heard.
The most precious and expensive real estate in the world is inside your head.
Each piece of advice you are given should not be approached from the perspective of the rule. Or something you necessarily have to follow to make it work. A better way to approach it is to realize that each piece of advice should serve as a guideline you adapt to your situation.
When an item, event, or person suddenly starts to reappear multiple times throughout your day, with no connection between them. It is a clear sign you should do something about it. Better said, react to it. You are getting signals you should not ignore.
The more money you spend helping others and supporting them. The more support and help YOU receive. Results? More results on your end.
Things always work out in your favor if you take one step at a time. Always. By doing so, all those self-created limitations disappear. It is much easier than we like to think. The idea that you need to see the whole path before you start your journey is wrong.
Prestige is a trap created by the approval of people whose opinions you should not care about in the first place.
Fun and happiness should not be your main goals in life. Yet they affect every area of it. Something you should consider when optimizing.
Never take advice from someone with less experience than you. It will cost you more than you want to admit and throw you off your initial instincts or ideas.
The only way to achieve what you want to achieve is to know what you want in the first place. When was the last time you asked yourself what you want out of life? Do it often.
What no one tells anyone in life is that to build momentum and have this feeling of unlimited energy. The secret? Every task that takes less than 2 minutes should be done immediately. Trust us on this.
No one ever tells you that you need to figure out what brings you peace. Nature, long baths, saunas, or driving without music or podcasts. Spend hours finding what works for you and puts you in a state of relaxation.
80% of your happiness in life comes from 3-5 material items. Those you should never cheap out on. Everything else carries much less weight and gives you space to play with.
Creative imagination is one of the most important tools you have to learn how to use. Want something for yourself and the people you care about? You better be able to see yourself with it before you even have it. Imagination directly plays a role in whether you achieve something.
All the self-help content is nothing but giving yourself permission to believe in yourself.
The more money you make earlier in life, the easier your life becomes. The only requirement is that you are not doing dumb stuff to impress the people who don’t even know you.
Great weekend read. There is a good chance you don’t have to be the best at what you do. The smartest. Or even the most capable. You just have to be consistently stupid about it to not give up.
If you want to understand why someone is doing something, always ask yourself what they are being paid to do. Doctors who get paid per product will recommend more products. A manager who gets promoted for short-term gains will sacrifice the long-term ones. It all makes sense…
Desires are replaced as soon as they are fulfilled. Remember the last time you wanted something so badly you thought your whole world revolved around it? Feeling you could never be happy without it. What happened once it was yours? You wanted something else. Desires play a role in every single decision we make.
Disclaimer: None of this is to be legal or financial advice of any kind.
The game in this is incredible.
Thanks for sharing BoS - Must've taken a while