Improve Your Life By Improving Your Social Life

106: Get better at something that has a direct impact on your life.

Welcome reader! For those DMing us, there is still a chance to join a community (Telegram group) before the 20th of July. If you are interested, this is your last chance before August. Now to the important stuff: Trump, crypto news, and the fear and greed index. We all have seen what has happened. The attempt to kill Trump has failed. We would go so far as to say that the picture below itself won him a presidential seat. Plus, the civil war was avoided by an inch.

Thanks to wttw for the picture.

Solana is making the moves and no one should be surprised at this point after ETH. Those following our crypto advice from a few months ago should stick to the same strategy. Buy and hold. The institutions are getting in, and most don’t realize what it means for the average individual… Those who wait will profit.

What about the fear and greed index? You already know our take for those who are not financially set. Having an index in the fear state is positive. This means you can buy large-cap crypto coins at a discount. Pretty self-explanatory. Buy more. It's not whether it will shoot up back but when it will shoot up.

One of the most popular requests over the last few months has been an article about social skills and social life. We brought up a few important points in our social skills the most important skill in the next ten years - on why social skills will have a greater impact. Not just why. But we also provided a solid baseline for positioning. What is this topic about? We would call it a supplemental read on social skills. Collection of practical advice you can implement.

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Social Life And Social Skills

Engineering Your Social Life: We have yet to meet a successful individual who said social skills are not worth it. Same as we are yet to meet a successful individual who said social life doesn’t play a huge role in life quality. Starting from our early days the group we find ourselves in will dictate how we move forward. Not just how we move forward. It will dictate our preferences, motives, and what we will do in our free time. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize where this is going. You notice a pattern as you age and enter high school and college. Those who are more popular get access to things those who are less popular do not. This applies to all key areas of life. Things get tricky and complicated as you age. You will notice a similar pattern once you graduate from college and get your first job. Those with better "connections" and social skills will run laps around those without. Something we have covered in depth in our corporate cheat sheet. Not only in their workplace, those same ones will also be present with opportunities others won’t. Opportunities themselves will keep presenting as you age and improve - considering you are someone worth being around. All it requires is a bit of social maneuvering. Social life itself is a two-way street. You will get as much out of it as you can give to others. Engineering your social life comes down to being 1) someone who has something going on in their life and 2) someone who is not afraid to let go. The answer to the 1) is the simple one. Why would someone want you in their social circle without you being able to bring anything? The answer to the 2) is another straight-up one. We have met many individuals who stagnated because they feared letting go of bad friendships. Living in fear of being alone and missing out. The truth and what you want to focus on are the opposite. You don’t want to become someone you would not want to spend your free time with.

The best mirror is an old friend. – George Herbert

Engineering Your Social Life

How To Get Better: You will look back and laugh at how you used to approach social things. Once you think about the whole social aspect and your social life - it doesn’t take much effort to get better at it. The only requirement is that you are ready to practice and have something going on. Career, hobbies, social proof, and status. They all play a role in your social life and are formed based on what you have going on in your life. Everyone reading this website should already be good enough at least in two of those four categories. For those who have just started, we suggest going back further and focusing on things that will make an impact in the long run. Read how not to waste your 20s and start building. Once you build a solid base - social life will follow. However, letting it go and relying only on those factors is impossible. Thinking other people will appear in your life won’t work either. Something we have witnessed many times with intelligent people. The key to having a better social life comes down to going out there and practicing to improve.

Forget About Your Comfort Zone: If you want your social life to improve, you must forget about your comfort zone. The best way to "remove the comfort zone" is to stop being logical. The next on the list is learning how to have fun. We would categorize most of the population into one of the two categories. The problem with both being logical and learning to have fun is that if you don’t possess any of those, it will make you look empty - boring. Guess what? No one likes to spend their free time with the boring. Your intelligence plays a big role. It dictates how easily or hard you can turn "boring off". The smarter you are, the fewer chances you can turn off your brain and fit in with the average. The same goes for speaking complexity and the words you use. If you think that the average 25-year-old girl will understand the complex structure of the sentence… You are in for the wake-up. Learn how to talk as an average - removing the complexity of the sentence structure and using the words that the fifth grader can understand.

Learn to Communicate: If we ever ran an offer of any type, we would choose something along those lines - specifically targeting those working in the tech sector. The number of brilliant minds we have met over the years who have problems communicating is astonishing. You can’t expect an above-average social life if you don’t know how to communicate. Better said, expressing yourself around others. Not only should you learn to express yourself. Learn to listen to others. That is an overlooked part. If you are struggling or can’t figure out where to start. What you should start doing is paying attention to what others around you are doing. Looking for what is socially acceptable to those around you. Serving as a strong foundation, you can use no matter what surroundings you find yourself in. Forget about rumbling. Be comfortable with silence, and look at how the other side is reacting while you deliver the point. The same applies when they are delivering points or holding a speech. They have a disgusted face, or you can see in their eyes they are in a state of confusion or security? You are doing something wrong. You are getting confirmational head nods or verbal approvals. You are doing something right.

Learn to mirror the other side: This is something you will not hear about often but plays a huge role. If you are inexperienced when it comes to communicating. Learn to mirror the other side. One of the easiest ways to mirror is by using the same words they have been using. Next is the loudness and speaking rate they use during the conversation. Next on the list is mirroring their level of enthusiasm and body language. Everyone knows that guy who gets excited when the boss enters the room - yet the boss could not care less. Ending up with them looking like a happy puppy that didn’t get a treat. Learn to downplay the energy, learn to downplay the enthusiasm, and learn to use the same sentence structure. Result? You will start getting favor points with the other side.

"Just Be Yourself": The advice that has destroyed more social lives than any other. It's hard to say whether it's sad or funny to hear someone saying: "I am always being myself, yet I am not getting the results". Self explanatory. Being yourself is terrible advice. Most people don’t possess a natural personality that others consider charming. Neither are chances high you are naturally likable - most think they are, but the reality is far from it. Play a role and learn to adapt to the social circle you find yourself in. If you have struggled to have meaningful relationships or meet new people since your early days, this is a clear sign that you should not be yourself. We are big believers that people who constantly reinforce you to be yourself don’t want you any good.

Body Language: We already mentioned body language earlier but are mentioning it again to emphasize its importance. 70% of all communication is done nonverbally - meaning that learning to read body language gives you huge leverage. Our advice? Learn the basics of body language. It’s one of those skills that will help you understand when someone is lying to your face or what they are thinking behind the words they are saying. Another thing you want to keep in mind is that you want to keep your body language open rather than closed - open chest and arms. Our suggestion? Pick a book or two on it and build from there. Two solid recommendations: The Definitive Book Of Body Language and What Everybody Is Saying.

Be Positive: People categorize others into two categories - positive and negative. They don’t care what you said or did. They will remember how you made them feel when you were in their company. Your goal should be to bring "positive energy" when surrounded by others. This comes down to avoiding being in a bad mood or talking negatively in any context. Avoid this and work on being associated with the positive. Crucial when meeting new groups of people and leaving first impressions. The same principles apply to already established social circles. If they are all complaining or saying bad stuff about a person, place, job, or anything else that plays a big role in their life. They are often not worth being around.

Select Your Friends… Though this is the most important thing in life, it is the one least cared for. Intelligence brings friends to some, chance to most. Yet a man is judged by his friends, for there was never agreement between wise men and fools… - Baltasar Gracián

Disqualify Hard: One of the most important concepts in social life is understanding when you should disqualify. As you grow older and your net worth grows, you will be exposed to more jokers and those claiming to be your friends. Meanwhile, younger readers will still have those childhood friends present in their lives. What about them? Most would be better off without them. The hard truth is that you will become one of those you hang out with. They don’t have much going on in their lives? Tells you a lot about them. Depending on where you are, this will make more or less sense. Your goal should always be the same. Ask yourself a simple question. What does the group of people I spend time with bring to my life? Do this often - as your life gets busier, you often lose sense of it. Before you go out guns blazing. Burning bridges is not something you should do. If you plan on "leaving someone" do it so that you will always be welcome back. The universe works in a funny way. You don’t want unnecessary enemies or someone from your old friend group to dislike you.

Social Lubricants - Alcohol: Alcohol itself is a poison. One you should avoid at all costs. Unfortunately, living like that turns the big majority into monks. No one likes to spend their valuable free time with boring individuals. If you must drink alcohol, this is the perfect excuse to do so. One of the best social lubricants. We are not talking about getting blackout drunk and thinking that is a smart way to go forward. We are talking about drinking a glass or two and suddenly noticing how the words flow and everything makes sense. If you struggle to make an initial contact or start a conversation, having a glass or two will help you. What about the drugs? We will not cover drugs, nor do we support the use of them. The reality is that things get a lot easier if you find yourself in one of those circles.