9 Life Experiences You Can't Come Back From
131: What actually changes the way you think and operate.
Welcome reader! We spent most of last week updating the mindset workbook and life-changing archive. This week? 9 experiences you can’t come back from.
Life-Changing Experiences
1. Getting out of survival mode
We often talk about this survival mode, yet we have not given it a full write-up. Once you are out of survival mode, you will see what things are all about. Only then does the beauty of life become apparent. When you don't have to worry about paying the bill. Or whether you will have enough money left to cover the rent. On top of that, add a few years to that equation and... Congrats. You are officially out of survival mode. What getting out of survival mode allows you to do is not worry about the things other people around you are worrying about.
What are the results of that? You will have much more time, energy, and mental space to focus on what actually matters. Focusing on how to make more money, taking care of the people you love, or improving your health. Stuff that actually matters. It is impossible to deny that survival mode is the sad reality for the average person and that 90% of the people around you struggle with it. It is also one of the reasons your employer, the government, and everyone else (the system) want you in that position. The main reason? Survival mode prevents you from thinking things through. It prevents you from seeing things as they truly are and how broken the living standard is for the average person.
You already know the results of that. When you can't think things through, you won't reach a conclusion that will have a big impact on your life. You don't have enough time to think through how to start a business. You do not have time to focus on losing 20 lbs. Your focus is 100% on what you should do to survive until the end of the month. The same principles apply to your energy. It will all be used up on things you should not worry about in the first place. One of your top priorities in life should be to get out of this phase and recognize the possibilities around you. If we had to put #1 on the list of why people are not living the life they should be living, this would be it. A few dumb moves in your life (debt, bad career choices) can easily put you in this position. One where you will have to waste an enormous amount of energy to get out.
Why it matters:
The ability to take care of areas that will improve your quality of life and actually matter (money, health, time).
Your ability to think about things you never thought about before.
Giving yourself more space to do the things that will move you forward. Without worrying if you will have enough.
It helps you avoid the cognitive robbery the system puts you through.
2. Making your first dollar online
Life-changing for most people reading this who have not yet experienced it. For those who know what we are talking about. There is so much you will be able to disagree on. Nothing will ever be the same once you realize you can make money from anywhere in the world. Just by clicking the right combination of buttons on your screen. Once you achieve this, you will feel like the whole world is yours and that opportunities are endless. And they are. You will never have to worry about meeting your boss's goals, being in the office, or being tied to one location. Gone. Everyone will have their own reasons why this is a game changer. For some, it provides the opportunity to do things they have never done before. For others, it offers a sense of freedom and creation. But mostly it will come down to realizing that opportunities are everywhere and that you have complete control over your future.
There is an incredible rush that comes with waking up to email notifications of people buying your products. While in exchange you are helping them to improve their lives or make it easier for them. It is one of the purest experiences you can go through and something you will never come close to in your 9to5. Being able to transfer your knowledge, expertise, and experience, and INSTANTLY get rewarded for it…It is a life-changing experience. No doubt. We have never met anyone who has made money online who didn't agree with our take here. This is especially true if you are an ADHD + high-intensity type. Without a doubt, you are going to get hooked. Results? There is a good chance that you will become unemployable and struggle to take advice that:
Doesn't directly impact your cash flow or work in your favor (becoming fully aware of opportunity cost).
Comes from people you don’t respect or who you feel know less than you do.
Why it matters:
You will realize that opportunities are endless and that you can make money from anywhere in the world.
Allows you to operate in a 24/7 system that doesn’t sleep while you do - running a business.
The painful realization that there is a good chance you have been underpaid your whole life, and that your skill set has never received the recognition it deserves.
The downside? There is a good chance you will become unemployable.
3. Fragility of life
The death of a friend or family member, illness, or something else in that category. These are all things that show you how quickly life can change and how little you can prepare for them. They make you recognize that most of the worries in our day to day life actually don’t matter. There is both a blessing and a curse in situations such as these. It is a curse because you know that things will never be the same. It is a blessing because you know you have to push into the next gear if you plan to achieve your goals. Experiencing any of these can easily one shot you. Showing you how quickly things can change.
The most relatable experience for most is going through a traumatic event (think a car crash) and coming out of it with a completely new perspective on their life. It is hard to relate to this if you have never been in such a position. But for those who have experienced it... You know what we are talking about. They realize they don't have time to waste and that life is fragile. They don't want to spend their precious time doing things that make them miserable. We are repeating ourselves. It is both a blessing and a curse. At the same time, this should push you to be grateful for your life and to practice gratitude daily.
You can also pick up the mindset workbook to help you with that.
Why it matters:
There is a realization that you don’t have as much time as you tend to think you do → a sharp wake-up call.
It creates a moral obligation to stop taking things for granted and to stop wasting your life on things you don't enjoy.
Encourages daily gratitude and teaches you how to be grateful for the life you live.
4. Hitting rock bottom
As you get older, you realize that life works in cycles. For a few months, you are king of the world. The next few months might be the hardest of your life. This scenario is much more common for business owners, who suddenly find their mid-level happiness wiped out - leaving them with only high highs and low lows. To make this more relatable. We encourage you to give yourself a few minutes to reflect on your earlier life and identify the moment you hit rock bottom (first time). We would argue that once you manage to get yourself out of that situation. Pay attention to it, because there are many patterns. The following period? Full of wins and new insights. Giving you a sense of the direction you should be taking and the things you should be doing. To get back to our point about getting older and realizing what it is all about…
So how do you actually move forward? The only way to move forward and achieve what you want is to reinvent yourself. What do we mean by that? It means hitting rock bottom. Which you will… Multiple times throughout your life. You have to approach it as something inevitable. It is part of the game. It will happen again. As a result, you will have to start again. Not necessarily from ground zero. But if you make the right moves each time rock bottom comes. It is impossible to deny that you will start from a higher position each time. Making it easier to bounce back. This experience and mindset shift are important because nothing is permanent. There is no permanent business model. There are no permanent life situations or permanent solutions. The real importance of it? It forces you to think long-term. Why does this fall under life-changing experiences? Because not everyone manages to get out of this state the first time they hit it. Everyone knows someone who was winning in high school and college. But as soon as the first problem appeared, they lost it across all of their areas. Never being able to come back and recover.
Why it matters:
It gives you the perspective of an optimistic approach - where you know deep down that things will work out in the end. But they will require hard work and sacrifices on your part…
It changes how you approach and perceive risk.
Makes you understand that when things are working in your favor. You should do everything you can to ride the momentum.
Keep in mind that if you are doing things the right way. Each time you hit rock bottom, you will be positioned higher and more comfortably than you were before.
5. Suddenly getting into a lot of money
Once you start making real money (or at least what you consider life-changing money). That is when you will start experiencing problems you never had before. From people asking you to borrow money, all the way to new friendships you can’t even explain. Your mission? Be careful. Pay attention to things you didn’t pay for before. Extra points if you come from a poor background and this is your first time experiencing what money is all about. What will happen once you suddenly get into a lot of money is that you are going to start doing things you have never done before. Your subconscious and the emotional baggage you have carried throughout your life will slowly surface. You will show the world who you really are and how you behave when you are in a better position than those around you. Those who end up in the wrong groups experience the worst of it. From doing drugs regularly to spending 5+ figures per month on bottle service to impress people who don’t care about them. Everyone goes through this phase, and everyone experiences it differently. For those who are yet to go through this phase, it is important that you understand:
Your money-making mechanism is never permanent. Meaning that your income stream will change over time (from the amount of money you are making to how you are making it).
You want to minimize the damage as much as possible (emotional, financial, and healthwise).
What do we mean when we say that money is never permanent? Your #1 goal when you suddenly get a lot of it is to do the opposite of what everyone else around you is doing. Don’t play dumb games with dumb people. Instead put yourself in a position where you will have so much space and a safety net that no matter what happens to your income. There is nothing to worry about. It is a hard pill to swallow that there is a good chance you will need 2-5 years to secure yourself and your finances. Understanding the risk management and what it takes. Repeating ourselves. Your goal when money starts pouring in is to do what others around you would not. It sounds boring until they start getting into financial problems, while you are in cruise mode, no matter what happens.
As for the second point, if you are going through this phase and money is easy to make. It usually comes down to not respecting the money. That is not the right way to look at it. Neither should you be afraid or insecure around money. Deep down you have to know that you will be able to make it no matter what. At the same time, you must respect money by being clear about your goals and their role in your life. Most people around you have no clue about this. The point is that everything will change once you start dealing with larger amounts of money. You will change. The way you talk to people, approach things, and spend money will all change. Getting a large sum of money in a short period of time is a life-changing experience, and you should approach it carefully. There is a fine line between being stupid with it and ensuring you are set for the future.
Why it matters:
The wrong moves, and people will set you up for the max long pain.
The right moves will set you up for life and ensure you will never have to worry about your risk factors - cruise mode.
It will reveal a lot about your character and how you behave when things are going your way. Pay attention.
6. Finding a first mentor
Once you process that you can make quantum leaps because you have someone who has gone through a similar scenario to the one you are going through right now… The game changes. We already covered how to find a mentor and what it takes. What we didn't go deeper into is what kind of impact your first mentor has on you. For those who have yet to read the full post on mentors. If you found someone who is genuine and has enough experience that you can relate to. Think 15 - 20+ years of experience in the industry. We would go so far as to say that it is impossible for you not to get something positive out of those mentorship relationships. Having someone give you practical advice relevant to your situation, that you can immediately apply. Hard to beat. There is no doubt that your mentor will want to help you even further if you are leaving a good impression. Giving them the option to introduce you to others in the same industry. This could potentially 10x your progress. Having the right mentor is like being given a cheat code. Seriously.
Why it matters:
It allows you to achieve quantum leaps and save you years of needless pain and suffering.
Position you with industry experts and hand-hold you (to a point) in the right direction.
Great introduction to other big names in the industry.
7. Taking ownership
There are many ways you can take ownership of something. From starting your own business to buying your first property, all the way to having kids and realizing that now you have someone who is 100% dependent on you and your life choices. Everyone's situation will be different. Some will start their families first, while others will start their businesses first. What no one tells you is that each choice has its own consequences and how you approach them. From a risk perspective (now you have something to lose) to how you have to plan going forward (your employees, family, or your kids counting on you). Most people around you won't be able to process these life-changing situations because they can't think outside the box. Or see things for what they are in the long run.
What you need to understand is that each of those big moves or decisions you make has a deep impact on you. If you just bought your primary residence. There is a good chance you will stay and live there for at least the next few years (if not decades). Now imagine receiving an international job offer that requires relocation. You get the point. In the same way, you won't be able to gamble anymore (in the sense of risk). You can no longer take on ridiculous debt to buy inventory and gamble on whether you will be able to sell it or not. Your risk profile changes. If you have someone working for you and they have a family to feed at home. You will want to pay them for what they do for you. Because deep down, you know they have someone who is counting on them. Each big ownership pushes you towards a new way of thinking and a full picture of what you have to do. A few of those in your life (think late 20s), while your peers might experience none. Over time, you will notice how hard it is to relate to them.
Why it matters:
It will help you to see things for what they are, as well as the consequences of not following through.
Going through this experience helps you avoid impulsive choices.
Each area of ownership builds on top of the others. It is not the same to run a business vs. running a business + having a family that counts on you. Different risk profiles and the way you should approach them.
8. Travelling the world
From the movie Tokyo Blood - Directed by Sogo Ishii
This might not be something you would expect to hear from us. But looking back at all our travels... They have definitely played a big role. When we talk about travel, we are not talking about going from London to Berlin or from New York to Miami. We are talking about REAL travels. The kind where you experience completely different cultures, behaviors, nature, and ways of life. Basic examples would be anywhere in the Third World or in places that feel different from everything else - such as Japan or Iceland. Another option would be experiencing wild nature, which most people never get to do (think the Amazon rainforest or Australian deserts). These experiences are powerful because doing them gives you a clear sense of what you value and what you don’t in your daily life. This is something we have briefly touched on in our discussion about why you want to get rich ASAP. Insights mixed with personal experience are an unbeatable combination. You may discover the peace that the desert brings, or it might make you aware of how lucky you are to live where you do.
On the other hand, it may make you realize how little you actually need to live the life you want. In any case, you will rarely meet someone who has gone on a few proper trips and hasn't come up with new insights that have had a deep impact on them. Not just on their mindset, but also how they are approaching things. Travelling also serves as a great reminder of what matters in your daily life and how often you take it for granted. The important thing is that after you travel, you never base your whole identity on those experiences. Something we covered in our post - average traits of ordinary people.
Why it matters:
New insights and personal experiences that will carry over to multiple areas of your life (all of them).
Helps you recognize what you value in your daily life and what to focus on.
Gives you an idea of what your perfect lifestyle looks like. Which is a key to a good life.
9. Deep solitude
The first time you experience deep solitude, you realize why all the great minds throughout history always went for it. Life instantly gets easier when you don’t have to respond to emails. When no one is bothering you. When the only thing you have to do is what you want. In other words, when you have enough time to focus on what you want to focus on. There is tremendous power in peace and in allowing yourself to go with the flow. The reason this is on the list of life-changing experiences is that in the 21st century, it is impossible to live this way without actively forcing yourself into it. Chances are minimal that you will find yourself somewhere outside the big city without anyone bothering you.
Our advice is to pull the trigger. Take a few days off at a remote location and completely unplug yourself from your daily routine. After 48 hours, you will feel a sense of complete control over your time and actions. You will know exactly what you need to do to move forward and which actions actually matter. You will develop a deep sense of what noise is and what the real thing is. The truth is that we are all so disconnected from what matters to us that this kind of solitude is more than necessary. And one of the first things you should do after reading this is to go out there and seek that same experience. Trust us on this.
Why it matters:
Gives you enough space and clarity to think things through and come up with solutions you never considered before.
There will be a realization that we are not meant to be constantly bothered or bombarded with problems 24/7. This limits your ability to reach your full potential.
Disclaimer: None of this is to be legal or financial advice of any kind.
Recently left a 6 fig salary + equity for online money. Every single line in this has truth to it.
I can relate to a lot of this. Great write up :)