Frame For Rookies
5: Sales, dating and interactions they all come down to the frame...
Hello ladies, gents, cartoon animals, and others.
Today we are going to have an interesting Sales-life topic we call “Frame”.
The frame is a word most of you have heard at least once in your lifetime. But never quite got the idea of what it means and how you should apply it in your daily life.
Before we go any further we are not trying to be Oren Klaff here. The whole purpose of the article will be to ELI5 what the frame is and why it’s important to understand it.
The article is meant for rookies who have an interest in learning more about the concept behind the frame. Before we go any further, take note we are keeping this light and short here (hence the Article name).
Spent some time on money Twitter - PUA forums back in the day - the infamous BB Misc board? Yes? This means you are pretty knowledgeable about the meaning of the Frame.
When you break into the meaning of the frame further, you will get to the point of understanding that all of the interactions have a certain frame around them. That’s exactly why “the frame” is still a popular expression on PUA/RedPill forums.
Another name for a frame that you will see is often mixed with “point of view” and perspective. All human beings on the planet have internal and external perspectives of themselves. Also for other humans around us.
External ones are:
The tone of your voice
Body communication and language
Looks (if you think people don’t judge you based on looks you are wrong)
Internal ones are:
How we see ourselves
Judging situations we are involved with
How / are you reacting to situations x and y
The frame is what you or someone else interprets or perceives.
Meaning that all of us are projecting certain perceptions of our surroundings, ourselves and others. The difference is how you see it and how someone else sees it. To not go NLP here. Key point you should takeaway is that there is no wrong or right when it comes to Frames.
Exactly what most rookies get wrong.
The deeper meaning of the frame doesn’t matter, as we are trying to keep it rookie friendly. The main point here is for you to realize that you should push the “frame” to serve you or your purpose. But what about sales and frame?
Frame In Sales?
So why does it matter?
First of all, you should know that Sales are everywhere.
You are selling the idea to your partner.
You are selling that Excel table to your boss.
You are selling your best friend to drink one more beer with you on Friday after work (hope you don’t).
So how would you feel if you could steer all the conversations to your perception?
Once you grasp the concept from the above, you will soon realize that each social operation and interaction has a certain frame around it. Most have not been aware they often operate in someone else frame or that someone is operating in their frame.
Stop for a second and think about it.
The status also comes into play here. Based on someone else status, they will push their frame (perception) on you. A great example is a salesman who is being perceived low status by their prospect.
Making it almost impossible to push his frame.
The same logic applies to sales calls. The majority of them will come down to the frame control game. Meaning that most sales calls will come down to the clash of perceptions (frames).
Your goal should be to win over another frame and seal the deal.
What do most get wrong? They are responding to the content or, as we could call it, the technical part of verbal communication. Most don’t realize they are giving up on fighting once they focus on the verbal part.
Winning on the sales call is done by proper reframing. The frame is a subjective interpretation that is going around. But it’s important because it influences our behavior and the behavior of others around us. Learning to reframe is what matters.
What Should YOU Do?
Let’s split it into two categories you should focus on detection and holding your frame. Sounds cliche, but you will have to practice.
How can you practice frame detection?
Pay attention to EVERY interaction you are having
Pay attention to how your boss will try to steer things to his purpose by framing you
Pay attention when talking with the opposite gender, as most communication between genders has a certain undertone. (Unpopular opinion). Status plays a HUGE role here.
Pay attention to other interactions around you - determine who holds the frame.
The next step after you spend some time observing your surroundings.
How can you practice holding your frame?
Make sure you understand when you are holding your frame and when you are in control.
Realizing conversations are not about verbal (context), but instead about perceptions (framing and reframing).
Navigating (leading) conversation towards your purpose.
Try “winning over” your prospect in your frame clash.
The simple beginner formula you should be sticking to is being in control.
Would go even as saying 50% of the frame game is being conscious of how you are perceived. On top of that add in which frame you are currently operating. Impossible to fix “issues” if you are not even aware of them in the first place.
Pay attention to communication going around you. Learn to apply tricks and start reframing conversation your way. It takes some time - but it will be worth it.
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